Every morning I cringed at the sight of the rising sun
I wish darkness would remain forever,
Why am I being force to deal with these ugly
Scars that marred my soul, why must I deal with a
Life that has shown me no kindness.
Every night I am plague with the thoughts of seeing another day
If only I wasn’t such a coward, if only I was strong enough
To end this breath they call life.
Oh do not be shock, nor give me your pity
And don’t patronize me by offering me sympathies
They will do no justice to the horror’s that has become
My bedfellow, I am too broken to be fixed.
I am too weak to keep fighting a war that I did not create.
At one point I did fight like hell trying to capture life
But that was until I realized that life was running away from me
I did not want to drown into this abyss, I looked around for a life line
I scream and scream hoping someone or something would send me a
A rope to hold on to, but love never had eyes for me, I was not pretty enough
Or worthy enough, so I just drowned into hopelessness.
I know I’m not the only one, some have found favor in the eyes of love
Some have been kissed by hope, and some has found the rope of purpose
While some others has found grace in the arms of suicide. But then you have those
That are like me the tortured souls wandering about with no doors to walk through
We are living in hell, lost souls among the living wearing the mask of teachers, students,
Doctors, public figures, entertainers, friends, mothers, fathers, writers, poets, philosophers
Preachers, leaders, we are right on the edge daily praying for a strong enough wind to push us over the cliff.
Micheline Jean Louis