Strange bedfellows

Loneliness, pain and I has become strange bedfellows

It wasn’t plan; as a matter of fact I never welcome their companionship

But as you know life will deal us a hand of cards and demand us to play it,

You never know what the outcome will be. So as the years

Comes and goes, loneliness and pain has remain consistent.

People has betray and walk away from me, but not pain and loneliness

They have always been faithful to me; I have tried to escape their affection for me

I’ve always seek their opposites, but their opposites never had eyes for me I suppose,

This is not the love and friendship that I had hope to have,

But it was pain and loneliness that found me and said

I love you.

~Micheline Jean Louis

Too broken to be fixed

Every morning I cringed at the sight of the rising sun

I wish darkness would remain forever,

Why am I being force to deal with these ugly

Scars that marred my soul, why must I deal with a

Life that has shown me no kindness.

Every night I am plague with the thoughts of seeing another day

If only I wasn’t such a coward, if only I was strong enough

To end this breath they call life.

Oh do not be shock, nor give me your pity

And don’t patronize me by offering me sympathies

They will do no justice to the horror’s that has become

My bedfellow, I am too broken to be fixed.

I am too weak to keep fighting a war that I did not create.

At one point I did fight like hell trying to capture life

But that was until I realized that life was running away from me

I did not want to drown into this abyss, I looked around for a life line

I scream and scream hoping someone or something would send me a

A rope to hold on to, but love never had eyes for me, I was not pretty enough

Or worthy enough, so I just drowned into hopelessness.

I know I’m not the only one, some have found favor in the eyes of love

Some have been kissed by hope, and some has found the rope of purpose

While some others has found grace in the arms of suicide. But then you have those

That are like me the tortured souls wandering about with no doors to walk through

We are living in hell, lost souls among the living wearing the mask of teachers, students,

Doctors, public figures, entertainers, friends, mothers, fathers, writers, poets, philosophers

Preachers, leaders, we are right on the edge daily praying for a strong enough wind to push us over the cliff.

Micheline Jean Louis