Thee god?

There is no god coming to save us

We are on our own

There’s no heaven or hell waiting on the other side

This is it!

We were conditioned to believe so we can be controlled

You really believed there’s a loving God looking down to earth.

Centuries after centuries watching atrocities after atrocities, massacre,

Disease, wars, all the evil taking place and doeth nothing? You really believe (He) is preparing  a room for you in his kingdom? So many religions and so many books, so many gods and all the believers,  believe their books are the true words and their god is thee god.

They fight and killed one another in the name of their gods.

The book that man wrote, claimed inspired by a god, pass it to the crowds , the crowds say ok, and voila, humanity is fuck!

Example. The people took all their gold and melted it in the fire. the people carved an image out of the melted gold, and shouted with joy,  this will be our new god and they bow down and worship the image they carved with their bare hands.

©2022 Micheline Jean Louis

Hello

I’m awake now

Went to sleep for a while

Uncertainty came to see me

and offer me a glass of depression

I think I drank too much, 

But I’m awake now. Full of energy with a new dose on life

Hello world I’m ready to learn something new, tread on a new path.

Love more and dream with more passion

Hello World I’m awake now!!

©2022 Micheline Jean Louis

Life sentence

Walk with me upon these prickly stones

my dying soul seek to be atone

I roam the deserts, for I am disown

do not ask me where I’m going, destiny unknown

long time ago my soul overthrown,

found guilty before I was born.

A walking corpse, love did not find me worthy of its affection,

with all its power and might , I was sentence to a life of pain

©2022 Micheline Jean Louis

A letter to me from childhood-self

Dear adult me,

I wish you could forget the pain I suffered

I wish you did not feel responsible for the monster touched

I wish the burden of shame was not yours to bear

I wish our childhood was full of laughter and joy

I wish we got to experience the innocence of being a child with love.

I’m sorry you had to go through the journey of questioning why weren’t you good enough to be love

The answers may never come,

I know you will get judge with “what’s wrong with her.” Why is she that way?

But know that I know what happened to you and understand.

My hope is that you will find a way to love YOU and that will be enough.

My hope is that in spite of our beginning, you will find the courage to create a path that will give you peace, I hope you discover the powerful YOU, so you can heal the broken little girl Inside.

©2022 Micheline Jean Louis

Hello

I close my eyes, saw myself

Happy 

Free

Loved

Healed

Forgiving

At peace, and oh did I say loved?

I saw my self at peace, even my eyes were smiling

The wind caressing my skin with  soft kisses blown from the sun

Hello! I opened my eyes

Reality  staring at me

The tears began again, as I whispered back hello.

Micheline Jean Louis

World on fire

The world is on fire!

the human reaction :

some take cover,

some are celebrating and shouting “let it burn!”

some search for water

some blame

some full of despair, awaits the big death!

collectively we are all experiencing an extraordinary event, be it on a different scale

with different perspective , we are collectively observing the world on fire.

~Micheline Jean Louis

Your happy place

The outside energies will never stop knocking, always looking for ways to come in, and believe me they can not come in without your permission, so learn to protect your happy place,  your renewing place, the refueling for your soul, the place where your inner voice is stronger than the outside noises.

Micheline Jean Louis

The One

He will kiss your imperfections,  paint them with his love, embrace you as you are,  he will not demand of you alteration to please his ego, when you look into his eyes your soul will feel at home, he will know you are deserving of his best, he won’t  hold back his heart from you, self doubt will go away, his word will speak life into your broken places.

-Micheline Jean Louis

Pain the first to kiss their soul

There are some people that has been knock down so many times, and yes they’ve gotten back up, but just could not find the courage to keep fighting, they stop trying to dodge the blows of life, they simply prepare and learn to take the punches as they come, they sort of become immune to it by expecting it,they are never surprise. it’s a state of mind that it hurt less when you know the blow are coming, you just tighten your muscle, a defense mechanism. these individuals learn to suffer in silence, only the moonlight has been granted access to see their tears at night, they wear daily mask of fake smiles. These individuals didn’t start out that way, they were once a people full of hope, courage, and dreams, but pain was the first to find them and kiss their soul,  pain was the first to say I love you, pain was the first to say I will remain faithful to you, you will always have my arms around you. hope, courage and dreams  just stood there while these individual whispered ‘I love you.” But only pain answered back….. to be continued

-Micheline Jean Louis

 

–

Only your love can heal me

As I walk these cold streets,

Loneliness takes hold of me

Hoping my heart echoes

Reach your soul.

Come and free me,

From the snares of brokenness

Heal the scars of imitation love.

Without you I am divided,I keep slipping in love with pretenders

But I no longer want to fall but to walk in love (reflect)

My soul awaits! Where are you?

My journey without you is like walking barefooted

On burning coals.

Come let me look into your eyes once more

So I can leave the present pain behind

Let me see my beauty shining through your eyes again,

The gate to divine love.

Once more allow me to be that precious gem that used to shine in your heart

Micheline Jean Louis

Songs of the birds I wish to sing

Hear the songs of the birds, the joy in their sounds

Distinctive yet pure, not a care in the world.

They flaps their wings with boldness, they relished

In their freedom, no worries of what tomorrow will make of them

They simply flow with the wind,

The birds are fully aware that all their needs has already been provided for.

Their faith in the creator is what make

Their songs so magical to our ears.

Oh, how I do wish to sing the songs of the birds

Micheline Jean Louis

Last night dreams

Last night in My dream

he’s energy vibe like me

sound like me, he’s soul echoes my heart desire

he remind me of the home I’ve been waiting for

should I embrace this warmth, this peace that I’m feeling

could this be love, the one and only love..

he’s openness make me want to love like i’ve never love before

I want to break down the walls and lay down my fears

and let him hold me in his arms, allow his love protect me,

 it’s so easy now to close my eyes and see a future 

I thought was impossible, could this be love the one and only love.

~Micheline Jean Louis

 

Reflection

I saw a reflection of you in the pond,
My heart ached, a single tear from my eyes
Fell in connect with your reflection, from that day on
I knew I was sacredly bond to your soul
And that my heart would never be free of you until all heaven has passed away.

 

© All copyrights reserved by Micheline Jean Louis

Shades of Love

The shades of love dances in the mind of men, flipping the pages of time painting hopes of love as it caresses desired needs. Bathe In the rage of passion it inspires the heart to dream dreams. Sacred in mystery it creates its own path for eternity. The presence of love ever so near, yet never to be touch, Like a lingering fragrance, it captivate the soul of men weaving a thread of eternal bliss, it leaves us all speechless and wanting thus creating a thirst never to be quench.

© All copyrights reserved by Micheline Jean Louis

Let me

Let me empty myself in your grace

Let me unveil my fears

Let me warm your soul with kisses

Let me paint you with words of love

Let me in your void, to find a resting place

Let me near your heart, so when I take my last breath I may greet death with a smile

Knowing I was close to heaven.

– Micheline Jean Louis

The moments we forgot

Days has come and gone,
time did not remain still long enough,
the chaotic fears swirling about of not repeating past mistakes,
we forgot to love the in-between moments that was meant to anchor us,
we both drown next to each other, not realizing we could have been each other lifeguards.
–Micheline Jean Louis

Have you seen my beloved Poetry

Poetry, poetry where art thou? Have you decided to disperse your magic
Elsewhere? Have thou found another lover that caresses your core better than I?
Is her touch softer, does her lip drips sweeter honey then mine. Oh poetry, poetry..
Where has thou gone, did someone come like a thief in the night, and snatch you out of my breast while I was asleep. Or was it the sheikh that came to you with all manners of rubies, and offer you to be one of his concubines. Did you get too drunk with my pain and decided it was time to go to rehab.
Poetry oh poetry where have thou gone? My beloved geisha the perfect picture of ecstasy ,
Where art thou? You are the closest thing to heaven, the loveliness of your pure beauty, Untainted by reason and doubt. You are precious music to my soul; the way you move around my heart causes orgasmic freedom and peace. You, my Beloved poetry with your strength you push me to feel my darkest pain, and with much benevolence you connect my heart to the love of the universe. My beloved poetry you are the vision to my seeing eyes. You are the only road I can travel upon,
You are the raindrop to those that was left to die in the desert of hopelessness. My beloved poetry where art thou? Please come back to me, for if you do not I will surely cease to exist.

By Micheline Jeanlouis

My Journey with depression and how I’m winning,

Yes I said winning, how am I doing that you ask ?
well first I had to acknowledge that I was suffering from depression, I’m aware of the symptoms and understand when those emotions and feeling are strongest, I know those negative thoughts that comes and where they were going to lead me, by being aware, it led me to discover that I had the power to control them. When those hurtful memories from the past knocks, before, I used to open the door and invite them in and allow myself to linger in those feelings, agreeing with those emotions allowing myself to be a victim all over again, I was reliving those painful moments, I was feeding my energy negative thoughts from my past. onced I discovered that I had rights to my present feelings, I begin to fight against the negative thoughts, when they came knocking. I knew I had a choice to open to it or not to.

Positive Distractions

I chose other distractions such as turning on the music, go walking, grab a pen and paper and start writing,(writing has never fail me that is why I call it my saving grace.) I would pick up the phone and call someone, now is not easy at first, it’s a daily challenge which will required daily will. some days are tougher than other base on whatever triggers those feelings. I personally believe the reason some has succumb to depression worse than others is because they are not aware of choices when it comes to those feelings and emotions that are detrimental to their mental health. those thoughts that comes saying, “you are not love, you are a failure, just end it all etc, will only get louder if you sit there and listen to it, I had to find a way to quiet those thoughts, understanding that I don’t have to focus on it because by focusing on those thoughts will only fuel its power in my mind.

SHAME

Another discovery I made was not feeling ashamed of suffering from depression, which is another huge factor that help my (Winning). I told myself so many people out there are dealing with something, no one have a perfect life, all of us are struggling with one thing or another, and shame never bring about healing, shame is a form of emotions that will keep you in the dark and confine you to a state of mind that won’t allow you room to forgive self and others.

Happy Place

Happy Place! I got creative in creating happy places for me to go when negative thoughts start knocking, I gave myself other alternatives, here some example. My kids, I start thinking about them, I start focusing on them, I will grab a photo album and start going through their pics, I will venture into a memory of the last good thing I did or happen to me. I stay conscious of my thoughts, I stay presence of my now.

No cure, But its OK

I know there is no cure for depression, so I had to make a decision on how I’m going to live with depression and not let it get the best of me. so the answer came to me over time, by acknowledging it, don’t fear it, don’t be ashame of it, and know I also have the ability and power over how my feelings and emotion affect me on a day to day living. By realizing and accepting that I had a choice when it comes to my feelings and emotions and the thoughts that I focus on, and allow to lord in my mind, empowered me to have a more healthier mindset. It’s a responsibility I challenge myself with daily,and that is why I’m winning.

~Micheline Jean Louis